make do and.. spend?

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So I was in a shopping centre yesterday, and I walked past a Sportsgirl store with a giant poster in the window. As they do. This proclaimed in big letters MAKE DO AND MEND, with some suitably young model types holding wool and looking, well, young and crafty and model-ly, surrounded by crochet blankets and other suitably handmadenessy stuff.

Which made me stop in my tracks, and stand there, a little confused. Isn't it the antithesis to use that phrase as a marketing campaign? It's like punk being fashionable; it's the polar opposite of what the whole thing was about.

'Make do and mend' came about during war rationing and having a whole lotta less. It’s about using what you have, learning skills to make things, going without, mending where you can. Not about consumerist spending on fashion clothing and accessories. Not at all, actually. This is not even handmade or ethical clothing, but mass-produced pieces made in large quantities in overseas factories with dubious labour practices.

After I was confused, I felt a bit affronted. Sportsgirl have no interest in making do or mending, they want to sell more stuff, and think they can target a new market with crochet hooks and buttons. How dare they offer up with a price tag the very thing that generations of students and artists have pieced together with their own hands, wits, skills; and generations of householders and struggling mothers before them. Making the best of what you have, using traditional skills to provide for your family, using your own ingenuity; now on sale.

It makes me cranky.

(ps. some peeps in the interwebs seem to think it's a good thing, and others think it not-so-good. If it is making more people learn to knit, is it ok then? What do you think?)

good things are happening

Bad things are always happening. There will always be something not-so-great. But there are always good things happening too. Don't worry about the bad so much that you let the good things pass you by.

Believe in goodness, and that is what you will remember.

deep breath

Oh My I haven't posted in over a week. You see I got so excited, with so many ideas and plans and possibilities swirling in my brain, and doing so much all at once, that after four days I found myself on the floor of the Boys apartment unable to do anything but watch Oprah and re-runs for 3 days.

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It's just that I get so excited I almost hurt myself. There are so many things to make, to do, to cut and sew and stuff and paint. And there's not as many hours in the day as there used to be (my theory is the days seemed longer when I worked 9 to 5 in a job I didn't always enjoy. Sometimes time draaagged on. Now I'm creating, the day disappears awfully quickly and I wonder where the hell it went. )

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The markets went so well, and I have wholesale orders and appointments and custom orders and shopping and meetings and so.much.indeed that I am feeling a little overwhelmed and need to take a deep breath, and have faith that this will work out and I may actually be able to make a living.

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Here's hoping, and here's to slowing down. I need to learn to pace myself and do one thing at a time. I'm trying to scheduled in rest times. Library times, cafe times, just.doing.nothing. times. Also photo times and blogging times. I am making an effort to consciously note when I start work and choose to stop. Here's hoping.

my new boss lets me nap

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Guess what I did. I resigned from my job. I did. Last week I packed up my desk, and put my pirate bobble head and novelty tape dispenser in a archive box and walked out, like they do in the movies.

Right now, I am entirely self employed. Today I had a nap. I just had breakfast for dinner.

I have a business plan. I have business cards, and postcards and a marketing plan. I have the feeling that my ignorance of what I'm undertaking is protecting me somewhat, I'm not as terrified as I should be.

Lovel-ly day

Did you know that I have not blogged for a whole WEEK! Oh my. And now I have so many things I'd like to tell you, and lovely photos too, but if I tell it all at once your lovely reading list will be clogged.up.

But you know what? I may have to do it anyway. Sorry.

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I almost forgot today was the great V-day. I have been in two minds, one said ignore it and carry on your merry way. One said Oh! but what a wondrous occasion to watch Johnny Depp movies and eat an awful lot of ice cream! In the end I am pottering around the house, listening to my favourite tunes and thinking of all the people I love. And all the people who love me. Also clearing out my drawers and hoping it doesn't rain on my laundry. That too.

Oh V-day. What a love/hate relationship we have. I love love, but you take it from sweet holding hands to a full-on pash with garlic breath, beard rash and too much saliva. I like being alone, but I hate to be lonely, and you have a way of cramming red roses and various plastic crap down our throats. Cardboard cut outs of hearts and cheesy songs. Overkill, yes? That said, everyone secretly wishes for something horrifically romantic to happen. Or moderately romantic. Or at least original and heart-felt slightly romantic.

Whatever you're doing today, I hope you have a love-ly day, with sincere sentiments and holding hands. And I hope it doesn't rain on your laundry either.

x Pepper

Pancakes are Delicious

I have said this before. Recently. Lately, I can't get enough. A while ago, I couldn't get enough burgers. Big handmade ones with pickles and mustard. Before that, I had major sushi cravings. All.the.time.

I have endearing food cravings that may last a day or a month. Pecan pie. Wonton soup. And I've talked about bacon and banana sandwiches before. I'm not sure where they come from. On a craving my (then) boyfriend and I went to the shops and bought 8 types of cereal. Then spent a day eating them in different combinations. Yummo.

I am though a believer in honouring food cravings. If you want it, darn have it. (You can have anything you want, but not everything you want). So I do. I had pancakes (again) last night. I may have them today. Or I may feel like something else.
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Do you crave?

on/off

Next to this house
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I found a switch on the ground.

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I like to keep it in my pocket, and imagine that when I flick it on and off something goes on or off someplace in the world.

A light bulb

A compliment

A lift button

An idea

A blink

A wink

A traffic light

A butterfly's wings

A glance

A tv screen

it makes me smile and wonder.

stand firm in the world

Well, 2009, I know you pushed and pulled me, and I'm sure I've learnt from it, even if I'm not always sure how. You're over now, and here is 2010, although I'm not sure I'm ready. But life doesn't wait for us to be ready, does it? It just keeps on, unrelentless. I am looking forward to it though, who doesn't like a fresh start, a go over? A reason to put the year behind and face towards the new with perpetual hope, optimisim of good things to come. Goodbye 2009, I'm glad I made it. Hello 2010. If you have lessons for me, please be gentle, m-kay?

I was watching 'scrubs' the other day, and although I don't usually take my life lessons from comedy sitcoms (ok, I lie. I do.) something stuck with me:

I always thought growing up was something that happened to you as you grew older. Now I realise that it is a choice you make.

So I am thinking of consiously growing up. Taking responsibility for the choices I make and where I want to be, rather than drifting along as a valid path. I am chronically indesisive by nature, and tend to go with the flow as it comes to me, rather than make any plans. It has worked well for me so far, but I feel like it is time to pay attention. All that boring stuff that I'm hoping will not be completely boring but help me grow and stand firm in the world.

Stand firm in the world.

Happy New Year to everyone and may it be full of everything.you.want. and all the love and buttons and chocolate brownies your heart desires.

letters

A letter to myself
Hey you. You look nice today. Yes, even in your pajamas, sipping tea with your hair all mussed up and a slight headache. I know you’ve had a rough time lately. This year hasn’t been easy but it will get better. I know it’s hard to hear it from me, that some part of you doesn’t believe it, but I know that if you were my dear friend this is what I would tell you. You are beautiful. You are loved and you are stronger than you think.

A letter to my anxiety disorder
You’re a bit of a pain, aren’t you. Well it’s good to finally meet you, though I’ve known you for a while. Now I know who you are, I can recognise you. You have taken me away from my friends, away from life and so many exciting things in the world. You see you take a process that is really handy in response to, say, a ravenous lion; or a piano falling from a skyscraper above you; and apply to not-so-handy situations. Like getting on a bus, sitting in a restaurant or lining up at the bank. I am grateful to my body for having these responses like releasing adrenaline and making my heart beat fast so my muscles can carry me away from danger and maybe save my life. But you have to stop tricking my body into thinking that supermarkets are dangerous places. They’re really not. I don’t like being so scared and feeling like I may throw up or faint, and making excuses why I can’t do things and it’s starting to make me mad. I don't like that you've invited depression in to keep you company. So don’t get comfortable, generalized anxiety disorder. I have friends who have friends. I have backup. And your time is limited.

A letter to you
Hello. I like your shoes. Would you like some of my cookie? It’s choc chip, and I’m getting crumbs in the keyboard. I just wanted to let you know that I am a better person because of you. Thank you. You, reading this, makes me more open and able to share my thoughts and encourages a creativity that sometimes surprises me. You make me see the world in new ways. Your comments make my day. Your stories make me smile. Your empathy in bleak days and joy in happy times makes me wonder at humanity. You inspire me. Thank you.

A letter to tea

I like you very much. You are warm and comforting and oh-so-tasty. You make hangovers more bearable, sundays more lazy, you wake me up in the mornings, and give me a reason to get up and have nice little breaks that makes my work much nicer. You are an excuse to buy pretty mugs, and sit on the front step to watch the street at dusk. Keep being awesome.

Pepper is currently experiencing technical difficulties.

My mum always said, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

So I've been a bit quiet lately. I have been a bit gray. Sad, and scared and lonely. Not all the time, but sometimes all at once.

I don't want to have a ultra-sweetener blog that is always sunny. It's part of me, and right now I'm a bit gray. I thought I would just let you know that I'm still here, and I am enjoying reading your blogs and your thoughts and everyday lives. I hope you will stick with me in the gray, and soon I will return to normal multi-colour services.

x Pepper

worth it? or just a nuisance?

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I have an ad on the sidebar there now. A sponsor, if you will. Spruiking lollipops by way of a puppet flashing his bottom. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I wish it didn't flash so much (ha! pun not intended!) but any method that can buy me more time to do what I love (and buy fabric supplies. mmm... )... Are silly ads worth it? Or just a nuisance? Sometimes when I visit a blog with lots of ads I feel it can cheapen the feel of the whole blog. And I know some people wear the 'ad-free blog' badge with pride.


How do you feel about ads on blogs? Would you put an ad on your blog? Will you still visit me and say hi if you must be affronted by an ad here and there? Or shall I take the darn thing off?

is unhappiness your muse?

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I have been nesting again, but in a different kind of way. I’ve been making things. As many as I can, which is not that many in the time leftover after working, studying, chores and living, but a few all the same. I think there’s something about creating things, something about having an idea, drawing a design, choosing fabric, stitching, stuffing, seeing it take shape under your hands. Or taking paper and drawing lines that turn into a story, or taking wool and making it solid. No matter what is going on in the world outside or all the things you cannot control, you can sit down and create. It is methodical, focusing, consoling, rewarding.

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Which got me to thinking; I create more when things aren’t easy. That’s when I retreat and focus inward. I’ve been talking to some friends who are creative in different ways and that seems to be the case for them too. My friend who is a singer/songwriter finds it harder to write when she’s happy, there’s less material and impetuous to do so. Likewise painters can be best depressed, poets in unrequited love write with fervor; is the muse for creativity unhappiness? Is happiness a too mellow state to be passionate about creating something? Or is it any strong emotion that lends itself to expression?

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What do you think? And do you create more when you are happy, or when you are sad?

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what I'm up to

Watching :: 'love my way' series with my friend Zana
Reading :: slightly in denial about just finishing Jane Eyre. I didn't want it to end
Making :: having a go at little felt antlers with wire insides, for a tiny monster
Eating :: fried eggplant with dill and cheese
Feeling :: tired, cold, and a bit sickly; but also relaxed, inspired, hopeful, and happy to see my housemate back from France
Thinking :: about all the things I want to do this week; work, essay, assignment, stitching, photography submission, posting, writing.
Wondering :: how much I will actually get done
Hoping :: that this stomach ache goes away quick sticks, so I can go see my friends band rock out tonight
Hearing :: the wind in the trees, david attenboroughs voice and a purring cat
Liking :: finding lots of lovely plushie makers blogs through needle.org collaboration
Wanting :: to never think or worry about money and be able to do whatever I like most
Playing :: newton faulkners album (undecided) and with new cushion designs
Wishing :: I had a pecan caramel pie with cream right now. and that weekends were a bit longer please
Enjoying :: endless cups of tea
Coveting :: a pretty thermos to take tea to the library, and a pair of brown leather boots

a handy list for updates from MeetMeAtMikes. What are you up to?

part of what club now?

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Today is the inaugural Singles Day, run by a group called Yes I am Single. (when you're single, isn't every day kind of singles day?) Yep, a day to celebrate being single and join a club in the hope of meeting someone so you can get the hell out of that club. Makes sense to me.

You can even buy a badge. Why you ask? so you can be seen by other people who wish to declare their singlehood and strike up conversation on public transport/ on the street/ at the supermarket; but more importantly your friends, coworkers and elderly relatives can all ask why you're wearing a ridiculous badge, and force you to explain this status repeatedly until you want to smash your own face in, or make up a fictitious partner who is travelling in the Caribbean right now thank.you.very.much. And please don't ask what is wrong with me. I will hurt you.
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Oops this post just turned from a community notice into about me. I've just been getting close to throwing a tantrum about the whole thing. On the edge of cynicism, this blog made me feel better. Then I read this post, which totally turned me to mush and goo and left me smiling for hours. Not only because she is a dear friend but because it gives me hope. Because it does happen, every day.

Until then, I enjoy sleeping diagonally, not shaving my legs if.I.don't.feel.like.it. and doing what the hell I want.
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You can keep your club.

How to cheer yourself up


Wait until your drifting around the house aimlessly, sighing every now and then.

Get a pen and paper, and a cup of tea, and write in no particular your top 10 favourites. Favourite tastes, favourite smells, favourite sounds, favourite sights, favourite touches. This may be hard. Particulary if some of what you write is no longer available to you. In fact this may get a lot harder before it gets better. Sorry.

When you’re done, have another cup of tea and a bit of a weep.
Takea deep breath and pick one thing from each list you can do or experience right away.

Do them.


I went to the park under big trees, watched some clouds while listening to music on my ipod and feeling the grass between my toes. Then I ate mangoes in the sun, called my sister and heard her laugh and went home to hug a friend and sew a monster.



If it works out, you'll have a bittersweet feeling that although you've lost some things, there's still things in the world that make you smile. Smile.