i just know

I was talking to my friend yesterday and said something like 'blah blah when I have kids', and she turned to me and said 'How do you know? How do you know you'll have kids?' Well I just stopped and furrowed my brow and, well, I don't know. I've just always assumed I will. I love kids. I want several. I have never considered not having children.

Today, being mothers day, has me thinking of these things.

I also know it's not as easy as you imagine. My good friend went through exhausting IVF treatments (she exclaimed- all those years of fastidious birth control for nothing!) but now has a beautiful boy, and is pregnant again. My big sister was told that she may never be able to have kids, and she is expecting her fourth. Yes, fourth. I know others through friends who have adopted, or fostered. And becoming a mum means so many things, it does my head in thinking about it.

So kudos to all the mums. Whether you planned it, got surprised, went though adoption, help raise children in your community, mortgaged your house to pay for fertility treatments, danced naked under the full moon in a rite, carried a baby for someone else, had twins, had triplets, were overjoyed or terrified, or both; kudos to you. I have heard it is exciting, painful, rewarding, amazing, boring, thrilling, expensive, tiring, inspiring and every emotion there is. I hope to join you one day.

If you could go back and whisper something in your ear before you embarked on the parenthood adventure, what would you say?